Steps to personalizing a funeral or memorial service.
An article by “Funeral Wise”
Memorial services and funerals serve a number of purposes. They give us the chance to say goodbye and offer an opportunity for friends and family to gather together to start the journey through the grieving process. They are one of the key considerations when it comes to after death administration.
In the end, the key reason most of us go to the time and expense of holding a funeral or memorial service is that we want to honor the life of the person who has died.
Historically, when it came to planning a funeral, we turned to religious traditions to provide us with a framework. While religion is still an important consideration, these days, many people look for secular ways to reflect the person’s complete life. That means most modern funerals incorporate remembrances of hobbies, interests, and passions that are outside of religion.
Modern funerals and memorial services often include a Celebration of Life. These unique services are designed to offer a joyous commemoration of the impact the deceased had on the people around them.
Perhaps the most challenging thing about personalizing a funeral or memorial service is that your options are nearly unlimited. In fact, attend a funeral today and you are likely to see a photo display, a memorial wall, pieces of the deceased’s collections, or some other tangible collection of personal artifacts. Each of those things can bring a unique and touching element that helps those attending the service remember the deceased. But a truly personal service will require a little planning.
Below are the 9 steps that www.funeralwise.com suggest you consider in order to Create a Service That Reflects a Complete Life
Slow Down
It’s easy to get swept up in the flurry of important activities that naturally follow a death. There are many details to take care of. It’s important to remember though, that you don’t have to do it all at once. Take a deep breath and keep your objective in mind. You want the service to honor the person you have lost and to carry a bit of his or her personality with it. So don’t rush yourself. It really will be ok.
Think About the Person
Undoubtedly, your loved one is already on your mind. As you are thinking about him or her, consider what made that person unique. What did she enjoy doing? What were they passionate about? What made him/her/he/she unique? What would they have wanted in a service?
Talk with others:
Take a little time to talk with other people who were close to the deceased about what they think was important about the person. Along the way, gather memories that are special to those who were close to the person.
Talk to your officiant:
It is important that you let your clergy or other officiant know that you want to make sure the service is personal. This person can be a good resource for determining what elements of the service may be the best candidates for adding a personal touch. Don’t hesitate to include other family members in the discussion. Collaboration can be a very good tool when you are trying to personalize a funeral.
Consider the elements of the service:
While every service is unique, there are common elements that are essential to creating a service that is personal. Among these are the eulogy, the music, and the readings.
Consider the surroundings:
Whether you are holding the service at a funeral home, a church, or some other venue, you can incorporate personalized elements that will invoke the memory of your loved one. Among the items that can be used are photos, flowers, artwork, or items from the deceased’s personal collections.
Design the Order of Service (Funeral Program):
A printed “Order of Service”, or program, is commonly distributed at a funeral. These provide fertile ground when you are trying to personalize a funeral. Photos, poems, biographies, scriptures, and quotations can all offer tribute to and reflect the personality of the deceased. There are many templates available online for do-it-your-selfers. Your funeral director can also help you produce the program or you can turn to a professional.
Remember the Funeral Reception:
From food selections to table decorations, the funeral receptions offer many opportunities for personalization.
Ask for help:
Trying to personalize a funeral or memorial service can be a daunting task, especially if you are trying to do it while you are grieving. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Besides family and friends, you can turn to professionals such as your funeral director, your clergy, or a funeral celebrant.